


Yours to Hold

by BlackenedWing



Series: Made For You (Shiki x Takuma) [2]
Category: Vampire Knight
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, M/M, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-01-17
Updated: 2010-01-17
Packaged: 2017-10-11 09:22:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackenedWing/pseuds/BlackenedWing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Against Shiki's misgivings, Ichijo goes home with him for holiday break to meet his mother. Ichijo wants to be supportive, but there are secrets in that house which Shiki desperately does not want discovered, and a choice that he does not want to make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Yaoi (m/m). Themes of F/m child abuse and mild implied incest-ish-ness. Other warnings may be added to individual chapters as the story progresses depending on how things unfold.
> 
> Pairings: Shiki x Ichijo / Ichijo x Shiki
> 
> Series: Part of the Duet Series. For more info on my different series, please read my bio.
> 
> Important: This story spins off of my Kaname x Zero story "Blood Moon." As such, it is AU from the manga on a number of points, like the rest of my stories. It also is kind of a sequel to my other Shiki x Ichijo story "Trust Me." Some of the elements and history in this story will make more sense if you have read both of those fics first. "Trust Me"is a one-shot, so definitely read that first, but if the length of "Blood Moon" seems a little too daunting and you want to give this story a try by itself, I will briefly recap the important parts of that story as they relate to this one. In Chapter 25 of "Blood Moon", Senri and Takuma visit Kaname and Zero at their new villa along with Kain, Aido, Ruka, etc. at the start of school break and then continue on alone to spend the holiday at Senri's house. Senri has done everything to try and dissuade Takuma from coming, but to no avail. Meanwhile, Takuma is feeling a little off and there's some background angst on his part because despite already being in a fairly serious relationship with Senri, in previous chapters of "Blood Moon" he's given his blood first to Zero, when the ex-human was falling into urgent blood lust after a fight with Kaname, and later to Kaname (twice), who was severely injured after he and Zero saved a bunch of people from a flood. Also, harkening back to both "Blood Moon" and its predecessor, "Crimson Door" Takuma is currently heir to the Ichijo estate after his grandfather's death. There's some legal issues though due to the events surrounding his death and the Council of Elders has had the entire thing held up for over a year. That's pretty much all you really need to know I think, and I'll try to recap as I go when appropriate.
> 
> A/N: The title of this story comes from a song of the same name by the band Skillet which fits this story really well. :) Please note that this story is working off the assumption of my previous stories that Takuma's parents both died when he was little. We know now after the release of the VK Fanbook that they are in fact alive, and apparently just abandoned him with his grandfather, but I have to stick with my previous version for continuity, so just consider it AU. Although it is canon that Takuma's father is/was an actor. ;) I also made up a name for Shiki's mom and Takuma's dad as neither have yet been mentioned in the manga. If they ever are, then of course that will be another little AU factor.
> 
> I should probably also mention that my take on blood drinking, blond bonds, etc. is for the most part only my own views and my own inventions, based off of what we've seen in the manga and anime. I do not insist for instance that things like blood bonds actually exist in the VK universe, but they do in my version of it. Likewise, it might be perfectly innocent and normal that Shiki's mom wanted his blood when he came home to visit her in the manga... but I prefer to take a different view for story writing purposes. ;)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been asking me and encouraging me to write another Takuma x Shiki story, hopefully it will be enjoyable! :D
> 
> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight and its characters do not belong to me. They belong to their inspired creator Matsuri Hino. I borrow them without permission, but with great affection. This story is for entertainment purposes only; no money is being made from it.

**Chapter One: "Homecoming"**

"Sennn-ri!" Midori Shiki sung her son's name happily as he entered the house. It was obviously one of her good days, since she was lucid enough to register his presence immediately. Senri slid his travel bag off his shoulder and hugged her as she came running to greet him. Her hair was a wild, graceful mass of tangles, hanging around her face and Shiki brushed his fingers across the locks. He would have to help her brush it out later. She had live-in help who took care of her, but she rarely let them touch her hair. That had always been Senri's job and she would often throw a fit if anyone else touched her.

"Hey, Mom..." Senri murmured in greeting as his mother continued to cling to him, deeply inhaling his scent happily. Senri kept his arms around her. Maybe he should have been embarrassed, but he loved it when she was affectionate like this. Her body still held the outward appearance of youth and beauty, but it seemed sometimes like each time he held her she felt weaker and more delicate in his arms. His mother nuzzled him for a moment, and then looked up with a suddenly curious, hesitant, hopeful expression on her face. "Rido?" she murmured. "Did you come back for me?"

Senri froze, ice flowing through his veins. It was the first time he'd ever heard his mother use that name with him – the name that he now knew had belonged to his now departed pureblood father. Why? She'd mistaken him for his father before of course. For as long as he could remember he'd had to live with knowing that he reminded her of _him_ – of that which had destroyed her. But never had the delusion been so that she actually called him by name and Senri was suddenly afraid. This was the first time he'd seen his mother since Rido had possessed his body. Was there still something there? Some change in him that his mother recognized? The thought terrified him.

The soft sound of a polite cough from behind him shook Senri out of his momentary paralysis. He forced his pounding heart to slow. His mother often got the past and the present confused. That was all it was...

"No, Mom. It's me, Senri," he whispered softly, trying and mostly succeeding to keep pain out of his voice. "I um, I brought a guest..." he ventured a little louder, but hesitantly, not sure how she would respond. Senri was nervous as hell as he nodded back towards the other vampire who was standing quietly in the doorway behind him.

Midori smiled and peeked over Senri's shoulder. She caught sight of the person in the doorway and ducked down quickly again, hiding against her son's chest. "Guests? Are we having a party? You didn't tell me Senri! I'm not dressed..."

"No, no Mom, not a party. Just a friend of mine, Takuma Ichijo. I invited him to stay with us over the holiday, that's okay, isn't it?" Senri was silently sweating bullets. This was _such_ a bad idea. He should never have brought Takuma here. He _never_ had people over to his house. He'd tried to talk Takuma out of coming multiple times, but his lover just wouldn't _listen_.

"I hope I'm no imposition, Shiki-san," Takuma bowed politely to Midori. "It was very kind of your son to invite me." _Invite._.. more like Takuma had practically twisted his arm, cajoling and wheedling for weeks. Any kind of illness was rare among vampires, including mental illness and there was a very deep stigma attached to it as a result. Takuma knew Shiki was embarrassed to let other people see his mother, but he also knew that she was deeply important to his lover. Senri had been worried sick when he'd heard that she was feeling poorly. Takuma was well aware of Midori Shiki's mental circumstances, and was not put off by that. He wanted Senri to know that he was there for him, and he'd be there for his mother too, if Senri would let him. He wanted to help his friend carry some of the burden that he tried to carry alone.

Midori peeked cautiously around Senri's shoulder again. No one ever visited her except for family, and those only occasionally. She wasn't used to having strangers in the house. "Akio?" she inquired curiously with a faint hint of recognition in her gaze. "Akio I haven't seen you in forever, where have you been?" She pulled away from Shiki and waltzed lightly over to Takuma, an almost flirtatious smile now on her face.

Takuma, still standing holding his travel bag over one shoulder, blinked in surprise at hearing the name. He smiled quietly, swallowing the small, unintentional lump that rose in his throat. He gave his head a little shake. "No, ma'am. Akio was my father. I'm _Takuma_ Ichijo. My father and mother both died some years ago."

Midori blinked slowly, trying to process that. "Oh... that's right. They were in that horrible plane wreck, weren't they? Such a pity, Akio was a fine actor. We did some pictures together, you know. He was a delight to do love scenes with..." Midori's surprisingly innocent eyes twinkled with girlish amusement that was out of place for her years, even if not for her looks, considering perpetual vampire youth.

Takuma could see that although it appeared Senri had gotten most of his features from his father, he had definitely inherited his mother's beauty. Midori Shiki must have been truly stunning once. Even around the messy hair, disheveled clothes and slightly vacant expression, that much was still obvious as Takuma regarded her. Because vampires aged so slowly, and remained looking perpetually young for so long, she could easily have passed for Senri's sister instead of his mother.

"Mom!" Senri protested in mortification, color rising in his cheeks. She had a habit of saying everything that went through her mind, regardless of how incredibly inappropriate it might be.

His mother ignored him, still smiling coquettishly at Takuma. "We had such good times the parties and the Premieres. He was such a dear, that woman he married too... what was her name? Are they coming too?" Midori inquired, already seeming to have forgotten where her train of thought had started.

Shiki grimaced painfully, shooting Takuma a deeply apologetic look. He was mortified that his mother was going on like that about Takuma's deceased parents.

"No, Mom, they're not, okay? Come on... let's let get Takuma settled and I'll help you with your hair..." Senri came over and took her shoulders gently, trying to steer her away from Takuma. "He can stay in my room with me. I've got plenty of room in there." One good thing about his mother's mental state, Shiki was fairly certain that she'd think nothing of the idea of Takuma staying in Shiki's room with him – since they were both boys.

"Of course darling," Midori agreed, patting Shiki's cheek as she let her lead him. "You can have a sleep over. I'll make you hot coca." She was treating him like he was ten again now, but Shiki was used to the swings.

"Senri never brings his friends over, I'm so glad you came," she prattled on to Takuma as Shiki showed him the way to his room.

Senri stopped by the doorway with his mother. "Takuma, go ahead and unpack your stuff anywhere you like," he gestured vaguely. "I'll be back soon..." Senri started when his mother, leaning over his shoulder, started to lathe his neck with her tongue. He knew she was a few seconds away from biting him and jerked his head away quickly.

"Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm coming, let's go..." he tried to walk her away swiftly before Takuma realized what she was trying to do. His face was flushing hotly. He knew she'd want blood right away, but had hoped to get her away from Takuma before she started acting on it.

Midori was startled; Senri never denied her his blood. She refused to be led away, starting to go for him again, but Senri quickly caught her shoulders. His heart was hammering in his ears. This was what he feared most. He could not let Takuma know what he... what he shared with his mother. Takuma had accepted and forgiven a lot about him, but this... he was afraid of seeing disgust in his lover's eyes.

"Mom!" he hissed sharply. "Not right now!"

Midori dissolved into tears, crumpling to the floor in a heap at Senri's feet. Senri was shocked and horrified and dropped quickly to his knees beside her.

"Mom, Mom... I'm sorry... it's okay... shh... please don't cry..." he begged as he scooped her limp, sobbing frame up in his arms. He felt wretched.

Takuma was standing by, not sure what was going on and wanting to help, but awkwardly unsure what to do. He hoped he hadn't accidentally caused a problem, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Senri, or his mother.

"I-I'm sorry, Senri, did I do something wrong?" Takuma asked, flustered and concerned.

Senri swallowed painfully. This was _exactly_ what he wanted to avoid. He shook his head quickly. "No, no, this isn't your fault, she just gets like this. She's not used to having guests..." it was a lame excuse, but Senri desperately hoped Takuma would buy it.

Midori was still sobbing against Senri's shoulder like a little girl who'd had her favorite doll taken away. It was a soft, pitiful sound that tugged at both boys hearts. "Takuma, I'm really, really sorry about all this, but I've got to..."

"Go," Takuma assured quickly, cutting off the apology. Last thing he wanted to do was make Senri feel awkward about caring for his mother or make him feel like he somehow had to choose between them. That was not why he was here. "Go take care of her; I'll wait for you here."

Senri gave Takuma a deeply grateful look for his easy understanding. "Thanks," he murmured softly before he turned and quickly carried his mother away with him.

Takuma watched him go before retreating into the bedroom with a small sigh. He knew Senri was uncomfortable with his being here. He'd hoped this visit might help alleviate that discomfort and bring them closer, but thus far he feared he was only making things more difficult for the younger vampire.

Takuma shrugged the bag off his shoulder and set it on the bed, casting a glance around the spacious room. It was fashionably put together in a chaotic, jumbled sort of way, with the same feeling of controlled chaos that dominated Senri's half of the dorm room at school. There were magazines sprawled on the desk and clothes hanging over a chair as if Senri had just left it, yet the room had the faintly stale and dusty atmosphere of an area that had not been lived in for some time. _So this was where Senri grew up... _

Takuma walked slowly around the room, letting his gaze take everything in. You could tell it was a room that someone had grown up in because of the small touches of bygone stages of life stashed here and there. Trophies decorated with dancing children shoved to the end of a shelf and pushed into service as bookends, a jar of multi-colored marbles gathering dust next to an empty aquarium, the vintage gaming consol peeking out from the jumble of electronics under the television.

Posters and signed photos cluttered one wall while freehand landscape artwork dominated another. Senri was apparently not the type to hang his own promotional pieces, so the posters and pinups were all of other models and actors, probably mostly people he knew, as the majority of them were signed. Takuma recognized a younger, obviously still sane Midori Shiki in a couple of the older looking posters, advertising what must have been some of her films. Absently, Takuma realized he'd never seen one of her movies and wondered if Senri would find it sweet or embarrassing if he asked if they had any on DVD. Then he remembered what she'd said about his father and quickly decided maybe he'd just skip that idea for now. He'd never seen any of his father's films. His grandfather had not approved of his late son's career choices. Asato Ichijo had been very old-school and thought that acting was a disgraceful and vulgar profession, so he had never allowed those movies in the house. Now, Takuma was afraid it would just feel weird, although there was a hint of morbid curiosity that he couldn't deny swirling around in the back of his mind.

Takuma shifted his attention to the montage of smaller, more candid photos plastering the lower part of the wall. Some were obviously portfolio vanity shots, signed by the people in them, but many were group shots. Some formally posed, others spontaneous. As Takuma made a slow inspection of them he saw that Senri popped up in many of these – arm wrapped with casual familiarity around the waist of a beautiful blonde girl in one, embraced from behind by a gorgeous looking older man in another, playfully twined with Rima in yet another.

It was like watching a skilled chameleon as Takuma's gaze drifted from one group shot to the next, watching Senri's clothes, hair and complete manner shift and change, sometimes dramatically. Here he was dressed Goth along with a bunch of other teen models – spiky collar, gloves, chains, dark eye makeup and frosted purple hair looking both stylish and rebellious as he gave the camera attitude. Next photo he was dressed hip-hop style with baggy pants, backwards ball cap and bling, laughing and giving hand signs to the camera with three other similarly dressed youths. Below that, a photo printed in sepia tones on old style photography paper showed Senri done up in complete Victorian attire, including tails and top hat, looking aristocratic and sexy at the same time as he stood a little too close to the female model posing with him, looking at the camera with intense eyes.

The huge variety was fascinating to Takuma. He had few photos documenting his life. Grandpa Ichijo hadn't exactly been the shutterbug type, and most of his childhood pictures were formal photos taken by professional photographers. At first alone, then usually with Kaname after the pureblood had come to live with him. When he was fourteen, Takuma had gotten a camera of his own and proceeded to take scads of hideous pictures of everything around him, including his long suffering pureblood friend who, to his credit, only threatened to crush the infernal camera about once a week. Takuma had eventually lost interest in photography and moved onto other things, although he still had a secret collection of amusing candid shots of a certain young pureblood that he was smart enough to never let Kaname know he had kept.

Senri actually made him want to pull his forgotten interest in photography back out of mothballs, except that he would be far too embarrassed to do so. Senri worked with professionals, after all. He'd surely find Takuma's amateur attempts nothing but ridiculous. Takuma's fingertips ghosted lightly over the younger vampire's picture. He couldn't imagine ever being as comfortable or _alive _in front of a camera as Senri was. The camera just loved him... and so did Takuma.

The blonde vampire realized he was caressing the image of Senri's smiling face with his finger and he pulled his hand back with a rueful smile. Takuma loved seeing this montage of Senri's life... even if it did make him feel a little insecure. Senri had told him before that he treasured their relationship because Takuma was so different from all the other people he knew. But Takuma knew that despite that, they were very different people and sometimes Senri found him a little boring and traditional, even if he never said so.

There was a faint, throbbing sensation at the base of his neck and Takuma rubbed at it out of reflex, even though he knew he couldn't make it go away. He sighed softly. It had been a couple weeks since Kaname had taken his blood, but he still felt twinges more often than he admitted. Takuma had only been bitten a few times in his life. This reminder was lingering longer than it had in any of the other instances, but that was to be expected since a pureblood vampire was involved. Especially since Kaname had fed from him twice in only a few days span, and fairly deeply both times.

Zero had fed from him not too long before that either, although he had drunk from Takuma's wrist, and the noble no longer felt the soft tug of his bite as he had initially. Both of the other vampires had been hurting and in need for different reasons and he had shared himself with them out of friendship and compassion only, but he still... he couldn't help feeling a little guilty.

Senri hadn't appeared to mind when he'd given to Zero, but his lover had seemed tense when Takuma told him about Kaname. Senri had assured Takuma it was fine – after all, what was the noble supposed to do? Kuran was not only his childhood friend, he was a pureblood. No one could deny him anything. But somehow... Takuma had this feeling, perhaps irrationally, that his lover had been a bit different with him ever since. The thought hurt more than he wanted to admit. He felt guilty that he'd let others bite him, when Senri had yet to do so.

Senri had tasted his blood often enough, but not through biting. Both of them knew that whoever was the first to cross that line would be the only one who could continue to do so unless they were ready to commit to the blood bond that would be formed from mutual biting and blood drinking. It was not the same life-altering union that it was for a pureblood vampire, but for nobles like them, it was still a very deep commitment that was not entered into lightly and usually discouraged outside of the formal ties of marriage.

Takuma flopped onto his back on Shiki's large bed, deciding he didn't want to be thinking about those things right now and looking around the room again to distract himself. He couldn't help smiling wryly as he found himself staring up at a large, poster sized image of Rima modeling underwear that was hung in direct line of eyesight from the bed. It wasn't an overtly sexualized ad, despite the nature of the product. The underwear was being marketed for comfort and softness, so Rima was done up like an innocent angel with wings, posed amid clouds wearing only the small white panties and a matching bra. The look she gave the camera was both sweet and sensual. It was a lovely effect, and if Takuma hadn't known Rima, and what a good friend of Senri's she was, he might have been inclined to feel jealous at the picture's obviously prominent placement. Instead he felt amused. He wondered if Rima was aware that Senri probably did see her _that _way, whether or not they'd ever admitted to or acted upon the attraction.

Takuma frowned curiously as something else caught at his senses. He turned his head a little and sniffed the bedspread he was lying upon. His keen vampire sense of smell told him that the bed had been used more recently than the rest of the room. There was a faint, perfumed smell that instantly reminded Takuma of Midori Shiki's scent. He turned his gaze back up to the ceiling, lacing his hands behind his head.

Did she come in here sometimes and lie on her son's bed when she missed him? Maybe sleep there so she could feel close to him? The thought touched him and Takuma felt a soft, compassionate sadness. He'd never had a mother to miss him, and it must be harder, given Midori's child-like mental state. He hoped he could be a help to Senri over the holiday, rather than a hindrance. This time together would be good, he told himself. Would help them put behind them the nagging issues that seemed to have arisen lately.

Pushing up to sit, Takuma slid off the bed and made his way over to the dresser. All the drawers were full, but most of them only partially so, and he set about re-organizing them sensibly and consolidating so that one drawer would be free for his things. Senri wouldn't mind, he was always very laid back about Takuma moving his things around. Bringing his bag over, Takuma began to unpack.


	2. Closer Than This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Alrighty, trying to get back into the swing of things after the holiday. Sorry about how short this chapter is. It's really difficult to break things up well sometimes. *sighs* Already have a little of the next chapter written, and there's going to be a Senri &amp; Takuma lemon in it if that's any consolation... ;) Mild abuse/incest-ish inferences in this chapter, so please be warned, if you don't like that, don't read. Although it's not graphic or anything. _

**Chapter Two: "Closer Than This"**

Senri set his mother down carefully on her bed. "Shh... come on, Mom, please stop crying," he pleaded softly, wiping away her tears with his fingers and stroking her hair.

She flinched at his touch and rolled away from him, balling into a fetal position on the bed. "No... no... please!" she wailed softly. "All I need's a little taste... you used to let me, just a little blood darling, please I'm so weak... Why do you do this to me, Rido? I only wanted to love you... I love you... don't hurt me..." she begged brokenly, hugging herself desperately and curling against the mattress as if to escape. Sobs shook her frail frame, still beautiful despite the tragic wreck of her mind.

Senri felt a hot poker rip through his gut. She thought he was Rido again... oh God, he hated that man for what he must have done to her.

"No, Mom, it's me, Senri... it's your son, I won't hurt you. I love you..." he murmured soothingly to her. Senri laid his hand on Midori's shoulder, trying to comfort her. He was usually the only one who could calm her down when she got worked up like this, but this time she jerked away from him, curling tighter into herself.

"No, no, you're not my son. Senri is always kind to me, he never hurts me. Where's Senri? What have you done with him? I'll never forgive you if you've hurt him, do you hear me? NEVER! I want Senri..." she sobbed, trembling.

Senri swallowed the hard, stinging lump in his throat. "Midori... Mom... please, it _is _me..." he pleaded, gathering her into his arms.

She flailed in panic. "No, no, you smell like _him! _Get away from me! Senri! Senri!" she was screaming for him desperately.

Senri had to clap his hand over her mouth so the cries wouldn't bring her maids. He wrapped his arms around her, trying to calm her and hold onto her. When she got worked up like this she was dangerous to herself. She'd smashed mirrors, windows or other objects and cut herself more than once. Sometimes she cut herself intentionally. They fell to the bed and Senri let her roll him underneath her. He didn't fight or attempt to protect himself when her small fists flailed, painfully striking against his face and chest in a frenetic flurry of blows. It was better for her to take it out on him than on herself; he'd learned that a long time ago. Her terror and rage burnt out faster that way and less dangerously. She'd never _seriously_ hurt him, and he healed quickly. She would, occasionally, seriously hurt herself however.

Predictably, Midori hit him a few more times before her panic faltered and she seemed to be able to really see him again as another moment of lucidity took hold. Her hands dropped and she caressed his cheek, shakily. "Senri?" she murmured, sounding like a lost little girl. "Senri, are you okay? You're bleeding..."

A small trickle of blood smeared the corner of Shiki's mouth in the wake of her previous wild punches and she dipped her head, licking it away. "I was scared, Senri..." she whispered plaintively against his skin, trembling as she curled up against his body looking for warmth and protection from her inner demons. "Rido was here. Don't let him hurt me again..." she murmured.

Senri wrapped his arms around her slim shoulders, holding her close and stroking her back as she slowly kissed his cheek and mouth. At first she was just licking away the blood, her tongue lightly trailing his lower lip before she sucked it into her mouth, teasing with her teeth as if she might bite him. Slowly, her kisses became more intimate, tenderly seeking the soft warmth of his mouth and the safety and solace that she found in the only person who had ever loved her unconditionally.

Senri tried not to feel familiar heat knotting uneasily inside him at her touch. He'd learned long ago that it was wrong to feel this way with her, to let her touch him like she did, but he could never push her away when she turned to him for protection and affection. He could never be cruel to her like his father must have been. It would crush her and send her back into the dark. She would never intentionally hurt him. She just needed someone to love her so much... Senri understood that. He needed her love too, even if this was the only form in which she was capable of giving it. It was screwed up... _they _were screwed up... but it was the only life he had, and the only one he'd ever known.

"I won't let him hurt you," he promised quietly against her lips, accepting, but not returning her caresses. He disengaged carefully after a moment and gently kissed her cheek. Senri's heart throbbed with a raw ache. His mother's maid / nurse had not been exaggerating when she shared her concerns with Senri over the phone earlier in the year. Midori was worse than usual. Always, her moods had been unpredictable and shifting like light and shadow dancing across the grass. But the intense abruptness with which she seemed to be vacillating between extremes right now was unusual, even for her, and was causing an uneasy feeling to settle in his stomach.

"He's gone, Mom. He'll never hurt anyone again, I promise," he whispered as he stroked her tangled hair.

Rido Kuran was truly gone now, but Senri feared that that might actually be part of the problem. He didn't know if his mother had blood bonded with his father. He sincerely doubted it, but he had no way of knowing for sure. He _was_ sure that Rido had probably taken her blood. Certainly, the entitled bastard wouldn't have denied himself _that _little pleasure amid the many other things he'd done to her. Midori spoke sometimes of his blood and being denied it as if it was something she had once had. But he was a pureblood, so it was fairly impossible that he would have let her bite him and so form a bond. That was reserved for other purebloods, if at all. Likely enough, he'd cut his own skin and let her lick from the wounds as they healed.

Senri was well accustomed to that practice, actually. Among nobles it was a convenient way to go when you wanted to casually share blood, but didn't want too many messy complications. With a pureblood though, it would have been considered quite an honor and an indulgence to be fed that way if you were from a lower class. It was probably quite a rush as well. Pure vampire blood was a better high than heroin... and just as addictive, or so it was said. Given that, it was conceivable there might have been some kind of vague, lingering connection formed between the two anyway, at least on his mother's part. That could explain why, according to what her nurses said, Midori's health and already sadly questionable sanity had taken a distinct downturn ever since about the time Kaname, Zero and Yuki had finished the revived Rido Kuran off for good.

Midori smiled softly, her tense body seeming to relax in complete trust. She kissed and licked up and down Senri's neck slowly and Senri closed his eyes, fingers balling in the sheets as he was instantly pulled from his musings, unable to remain detached although he tried. His breath started coming short, as it always did. His body responded. Familiar fire curled through his stomach, edged with shameful, eager anticipation.

"I'm thirsty, Senri..." Midori murmured in a lost, pleading tone.

Senri smiled shakily, but with deep affection as he tangled his fingers gently in her wild hair and drew her head to his neck. "Of course," he whispered faintly. Her fangs sank into his skin and Senri inhaled slowly. "I spoil you way too much..." he murmured as he often did, trying hard to keep the distinction between an intimate act and a fond, indulgent one. It rarely helped much.

His mother nodded contentedly against his neck as she drank from him, cuddled up against his body where she felt warm and safe. In her son's blood, she found a measure of peace she found nowhere else. She could taste in the delicious coppery tang the sincerity of his love for her, and the biological part of him that was his father's son temporarily soothed the chemical need in her body left by the hopeless, addicted longing of one who had tasted the forbidden nectar of the gods. Her fingers curled tenderly in the sleeve of her shirt and she pushed closer to him, her body forming to his. She drank slowly, needing the moment to last. _Mustn't take too much... mustn't hurt her dearest Senri..._

Senri could feel her heart beating against his. He knew this was wrong, but it was familiar, and comfortable. Since he was a child, these few moments of peace and connectedness had always been special, when his mother was calm and comforted by drinking his blood, their heartbeats synching into rhythm. For these few moments, he felt like there was actually something he could do to take away her pain and hurt and make her happy. And he felt loved.

The problem was the _other_ feelings it stirred in him, feelings not _for_ his mother, but that were just... _there_. A biological reaction he couldn't help. _Breathe slowly, think about something else..._ it had been hard when he was younger sometimes, he'd feel so worked up and confused after his mother had been drinking from him. It was no wonder that he inevitably started turning to others to find release, that he accepted it when the older professionals in his field had wanted the same kind of thing from him... and a little more. It was the price tag attached to everything it seemed: success, influence... even love.

They'd been using him; he knew that and accepted it as the way things were. He'd used them too. He knew how to play on his good looks and the desires of those in positions to give him what he wanted in order to get ahead. He could play the game as well as anyone. And with the other models or the groupies, it was simply a lark, a diversion, pleasurable pastimes that distracted for a while from the dull, emptiness of his life. But... none of it could fill the emptiness. None of it was what his heart truly craved.

Rima was always telling him he should have higher standards, should stand up for himself more. She had been glad when he'd agreed at the last minute to take a hiatus from full-time modeling and enroll in Cross Academy with her. Senri now knew that his uncle, who had disappeared after the whole Rido fiasco last year, had pushed him so hard to join the Academy in order to get him, or rather, get his _body_, close to Senri's cousin, Kaname Kuran, but of course none of them had known that at the time. He and Rima had both continued to work part time, but their life at school was far more removed from the heart of the scene and Rima seemed to like that. Senri had found the change of pace boring beyond belief, but it was kind of peaceful too, which was nice since he had always grown fatigued fairly easily (for a vampire anyway). And then of course... there was also his new roommate. Takuma Ichijo had been kind enough to open his room to the late comer, since Senri had enrolled too late to be assigned elsewhere and Rima had flatly refused to let him room with her. Senri would eventually come to find that that generous behavior was very typical of Takuma, although the sunny vampire had actually annoyed him initially.

Life had taught him that everyone had their own interests at heart and affection was something that could be bought and sold. But Takuma just refused to fit that mold. That was one of many reasons why he was so precious to Senri now. Takuma didn't play games. He didn't use him. When he said he loved Senri, he meant it truly and without strings. Senri still didn't know if he could ever reciprocate that feeling as purely as Takuma deserved, but he couldn't bear the thought of ever losing that. Of ever losing Takuma. No more than he could bear the thought of hurting his mother. Hopefully... he would never have to choose between the two.

Softly, he stroked Midori's hair as she drank. Sometimes, he felt guilty for his very existence. How he wished he could have known her before she'd met his father, before she was ruined by the power of a pureblood. _The power of pureblood... they could entrap you with just their blood. Or maybe even just by them taking _your_ blood... _Senri repressed a shudder. He shouldn't think that way. He was supposed to respect and revere them, and he did, whether he wanted to or not. It was in his biological makeup. But having lived with his mother all his life, and what had been done to her... there was a small, rebellious part of him that resented that kind of power.

Senri shifted a little as he felt an entirely different kind of ache in his heart. _Takuma. Takuma had also been bitten by a pureblood vampire, hadn't he? Another Kuran, at that. _He swallowed silently. It wasn't fair to equate the two situations and he knew that. Kaname Kuran was a good man and Senri respected him... but he was still a pureblood, and pureblood or no, Takuma would do anything for him. _Anything._

_"Even leave me?" _the soft, desperate fear whispered somewhere in the back of Senri's mind.

He really did try to battle the slippery, green eyed snake of jealousy that slithered through his insides when he thought about the pureblood's teeth claiming his lover's neck, that perfect body pressed close to his... but it wasn't easy. Oh, he knew it was innocent. On Takuma's side anyway. Takuma didn't have a maliciously deceptive bone in his body. But Takuma did love Kaname Kuran dearly, and try as he might, Senri couldn't help feeling threatened by that. Maybe it was unforgivably petty of him, but a Kuran had taken his mother away from him and he would be damned if a Kuran took Takuma away from him too.

"It's okay, Mom..." he murmured as he cradled her close, trying to push his troubling thoughts away for the moment. "You rest now. Shh... rest..."


	3. Complete Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N: Aaand here's the promised lemon. :D Don't read this chapter if you don't like yaoi. For those who have also read my Kaname x Zero stories, it's worth mentioning that this story will be of a slightly different nature. For Kaname and Zero, getting them to admit that they cared about each other could take practically a whole story and involve lots of angst. For Takuma and Senri, that's not their problem. They're comfortable with their mutual attraction and have had much more of a 'normal' relationship to this point. So the interest and angst for them is not so much in how they get together, but rather in whether or not they can _stay _together and deal with that which life will soon be throwing at them. :) _

**Chapter Three: "Complete Me"**

Senri smiled softly as he entered his room and found Takuma curled up on his bed, fast asleep. His lover must have dozed off waiting for him. He felt a bit guilty. It had taken an inordinately long time for him to get his mother settled down enough that he could slip away. It was like trying to get a child down for a nap, as soon as he'd try to leave, she'd start to fuss. Usually he just curled up and slept with her after she drank from him, but usually there wasn't anyone else in the house he wanted to get back to.

Senri closed the door behind him and walked quietly across to the bed, letting his gaze take Takuma's sleeping form. The young aristocrat was lying on his side, head pillowed on his arm, his silky, pale blond hair contrasting with the darker color of the bedspread beneath. Senri ran his fingers through the short, soft strands, his smile deepening a bit. Takuma looked so _innocent _like this. Senri knew his lover was capable of being quite devilish at times... _delightful times_... but just at the moment he looked like a sleeping angel.

Senri's body was aching with the feelings stirred up by having his blood drawn, but looking at Takuma, he found that the ache in his heart was deeper. It wasn't painful though, not exactly. It was a warm ache – a strange, throbbing fullness that invaded his chest and made it hard to breathe. Maybe it was love. He wasn't sure, and for Takuma's sake he hesitated to make that assertion too lightly, but at the same time... being home like this was making him suddenly realize that if it _was _love, he didn't want to discover that only after it was gone.

Takuma stirred, the beautiful green eyes blinking open, a contented smile spreading across his face as he found himself looking up at Shiki. "Oh... sorry, I dozed off." He yawned and stretched, lithe and graceful and totally ignorant of his own appeal as he rolled onto his back.

Takuma's tousled hair as he turned his head up to look at Senri and the delightful semi-sleepiness in his eyes mixed with that enticingly innocent smile was too much and the younger vampire almost visibly shuddered. He was so worked up... and Takuma was irresistible.

A moment later Senri had slid onto the bed on his knees, straddling Takuma's hips, hands resting on either side of his lover's head as he leaned down and brushed a light, but intimate kiss against the other vampire's surprised lips.

"No, _I'm_ sorry..." he murmured, one hand now traveling worshipfully but hungrily along Takuma's side, pushing up his sweater and feeling the familiar planes of muscle beneath. "I'm a horrible host, leaving you alone like that. And now, I should be offering you something refreshing after the trip, but all I want to do is devour you..." he groaned softly, heatedly, his hips rolling with slow, purposeful intention against Takuma's as their kiss deepened.

Takuma dragged in a shaky breath. He was still waking up and caught off guard by Senri's sudden, albeit delightful, advances. It took a moment for his brain to catch up with his body, but his hands were already tangling in Senri's hair and his hips rose to meet his lover's, his pulse quickening as he felt the obvious evidence of his lover's desire. He could certainly get used to this kind of wakeup call.

"Mmm... I'll take you for my refreshment any day..." Takuma murmured back, tugging at the hem of Senri's shirt, pulling it free from his pants and letting his fingertips play across his lover's warm, taut stomach. Senri shivered at the touch and he quickly grabbed the ends of his now un-tucked shirt, dragging it off over his head and tossing it aside on the bed.

Takuma's hands quickly found the newly exposed planes flesh, caressing Senri's chest and shoulders fervently as he admired the view before tugging him back down close and trailing kisses along the young model's jaw and down his throat. Senri gasped and jerked, grinding his body down harder against Takuma when his lover's lips trailed across his bite area. Takuma started to nibble and tease and Senri whimpered, fairly writhing against the other's body.

Takuma was delighted at finding the younger boy's neck so unusually sensitive and lavished it with even more attention, sucking, licking and lightly biting with blunt teeth.

To both their surprise, Senri almost screamed, his body jerking spasmodically, hips pressing pleadingly against Takuma. Senri couldn't think while his lover was doing that. His neck was outwardly healed from Midori's recent bite, but it was still incredibly sensitive, and all the aroused endorphins were still swirling through his system. Being touched like this by his lover was way too much stimulation and Senri thought he might go mad, he was so intensely aroused.

Senri was almost limp against Takuma now, humping against him with soft, whimpering gasps and moans as the other worked his neck. His near helplessness somehow managed to be incredibly seductive.

Takuma knew Senri fairly well by now. He knew that sometimes life just seemed like too much for the darker haired boy. Some days Senri really couldn't get his own buttons done right or found it too much work to eat unless someone filled his plate for him. And sometimes if he was really worked up in bed, he seemed to not be able to both feel and function at the same time. These issues probably would have annoyed the hell out of some people, but the truth was, Takuma found it all rather endearing. He liked to take care of people. He felt good when he felt needed. And Senri always seemed to need a lot. It was part of what made them such a good match.

Takuma felt a deep thrill of heat at Senri's delirious, sensual helplessness, adoring that his touch could do that to the one he loved. He rolled Senri onto his back, lying atop him and laying fervent kisses across his chest and down his stomach. Takuma undid Senri's pants and pushed them down his hips, freeing his lover's painfully hard body. Senri groaned loudly, head tossing on the bed as Takuma caught his throbbing, weeping flesh in his fist. Takuma could feel his lover's pulse pounding hot and hard within his grip and he knew the other vampire was very close already. He was a little amazed how fast Senri had gotten worked up, but it was delightful when he was so needy. Takuma didn't stroke him because he didn't want to put Senri over too swiftly, but he held him firmly as he leaned back across the other's body and started kissing his neck again. Senri really seemed to like that today and Takuma wanted to pleasure him.

Senri's whole body was flushed with heat and he trembled uncontrollably as Takuma's fist firmly squeezed his aching need and those devastatingly wonderful lips moved back to his neck. He obviously desperately wanted Takuma to move, to push him just a little bit harder. That was all it would take to put him over the edge right now, and Senri's body was begging. But the younger vampire didn't push. He writhed and squirmed in bliss, but he didn't buck into Takuma's hand or try to change what he was doing. He never did when he was lost like this. He needed desperately, but it was all up to Takuma to give, because Senri either could not, or would not do anything for himself when he was in this particular state.

Takuma did not like to think how vulnerable that could make Senri if he was with someone inclined to cruelty, yet at the same time it was rather appealing too because he could do anything he wanted. Inevitably, of course, what he wanted was to please his lover utterly.

Takuma nibbled Senri's neck and felt him twitch and jerk in his hand. With a shuddering breath against his lover's moist skin, Takuma sucked on the warm neck insistently, seductively mimicking the act of drawing blood without actually breaking the skin or doing so.

Senri's mouth fell open in a silent scream and his back arched. He was about to lose it, but Takuma gripped him tighter, fingers sliding down to squeeze the base of his shaft, forcing Senri's body to wait. Senri's eyes clenched shut and his whole frame shook, he moaned desperately, breathless, begging, sobbing his lover's name in a paroxysm of extended, unbearable delight.

Takuma continued to suck his neck mercilessly until Shiki really was screaming, although he had the back of his hand jammed firmly into his mouth, making the sounds more dull and muffled since he didn't want anyone to hear. Then suddenly, Takuma's hand was moving, pumping Senri in long, powerful strokes.

The younger vampire lost it almost instantly. His body tensed and shook as he climaxed, warmth spilling across his stomach and Takuma's hand as every muscle in his being seemed to burn with pleasurable fire.

Senri's body went limp as the shivers of ecstasy played out. He was physically dizzy from the strength of his release and he felt both light and leaden at the same time. Takuma smiled adoringly at him, licking his neck slowly now. His fingertips skated lightly through the sticky slickness on Senri's flat stomach, drawing undecipherable patterns of pleasure on his flushed skin that made Senri's already wildly pounding pulse catch and skip.

"Feel better?" Takuma asked with an adoring, if amused smile as he gazed down at his beloved. Senri nodded slowly, his breath seeming to come easier now, his body relaxing for almost the first time since they'd entered the house.

"Yeah..." he murmured in a contentedly lazy tone. "Much."

Takuma continued to smile, rubbing his still clothed body slowly against Senri's thigh. He was pretty aroused by now too, but he was enjoying his lover's pleasure.

He kissed Senri's neck one more time, loving the taste and the feel of it. When he'd first started kissing, Senri had smelled like Midori, but she'd been clinging and crying all over him, so that was to be expected. Senri only smelled like Takuma now, which for some reason pleased Takuma more than he realized.

"Everything okay with your mother?" Takuma inquired with genuine concern, remembering belatedly that he had yet to ask. "I really hope my presence didn't upset her too much."

Senri tensed slightly at the mention of his mother. He'd washed his neck before coming back, but he knew her smell was probably still all over him. "She's fine. I told you, it wasn't you at all, she just has... moods." Senri's tone was dismissive. He rolled out from under Takuma and sat up. Takuma rolled onto one elbow as his lover pulled away, his green gaze still a little concerned as it followed the other vampire. For some mysterious reason, he felt like Senri wasn't telling him the truth, and he feared his lover just didn't want him to know that he was disrupting the rhythm of the household by having forced himself on them.

"Senri," he murmured softly. "I'm sorry, I know you didn't want me to..."

Senri leaned forward, easily flipping Takuma back onto his back and cutting him off. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to see those handsome green eyes looking concerned and guilty when it was _Senri _who should be feeling guilty, when it was _he _who should be ashamed for hiding his dark secrets from his lover and then shamelessly using him for relief. Takuma never used him. He deserved so much better. But Senri didn't know how to be any better, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Forget it," Senri murmured, pushing Takuma's sweater up to his chest and settling between the blonde's legs so he could kiss and lick the exposed skin. "I _do _want you here, Teku. I hate being away from you..." he whispered softly, almost plaintively as he kissed and teased his lover's navel, swirling the tip of his tongue down inside in a way that he knew drove Takuma crazy.

Takuma was relieved to hear that. He inhaled softly at his lover's ministrations, his skin starting to flush a bit with pleasure. Senri had already undone Takuma's slacks without him realizing, and he was now dragging them smoothly down the older vampire's slender hips. Takuma leaned up on his elbows, his cheeks flushing and his breath starting to be audible between parted lips. Senri hadn't bothered to adjust his own clothing (or lack thereof) at all, and his jeans were now bunched around his knees, leaving him pretty much completely exposed to Takuma's hungry, adoring gaze. There was something kind of hot about his partial state of dress, as if he just really couldn't be bothered to waste the time to even finish undressing because that was too much time spent not touching his lover. Knowing Senri, that probably was actually the case, too.

Takuma admired the sinewy lines of Senri's naked back as he moved, and the way his backside bobbed seductively as he dragged his lover's slacks down to his thighs and bent over him, nuzzling Takuma's growing stiffness, kissing and licking languidly up and down its length.

"Mmm," Takuma murmured in pleasure and encouragement as Senri flicked his tongue against a particularly sensitive spot. Senri smiled, sucking and nibbling before he slid higher up and started kissing Takuma's stomach again. The fingers of one hand continued to lightly tease his lover's arousal while his other hand slid up higher. His nails sharpening, Senri dragged his middle finger in a slow, deliberate line across Takuma's flat abdomen, creating a two - three inch cut a little to the left of his navel. Mesmerizing crimson welled along the length of the line, forming perfect little beads in places.

Takuma stiffened, in more ways than one, his long fingers tightening in the bed clothes as he continued to lean on his elbows, watching Senri. His body thrilled at the intimate sting of the shallow cut and he hissed softly in pleasure as his lover's hot mouth latched onto it. Senri licked and sucked on the small wound, lapping up Takuma's blood and lavishing the scratch with his tongue until it had healed closed.

With sensual deliberation, Senri drew his nail across the other side of Takuma's stomach, pressing a little harder this time, cutting just a little deeper. Takuma inhaled sharply with a small shudder, pleasure humming through his body with growing intensity. He loved this. It was so intimate, as close to blood sharing as he and Senri yet allowed themselves, and Senri was so incredibly _good_ at it. He knew how to play Takuma's body just right - how to start slow, and let the other vampire's endorphins kick in before gradually pushing harder and harder, intrinsically in tune with his lover's rapidly growing desire.

Again, Senri's lips sealed over the cut, tongue worrying the broken flesh, teeth grazing the skin teasingly, flirting heavily with temptation. Takuma's blood tasted so good... it was the most delicious thing he had ever had. Takuma was a very powerful vampire but his blood was made even sweeter by the fact that Senri cared about him so much. It was hard though... hard to resist the strong urge to give into temptation and simply sink his fangs into Takuma when he was indulging in his blood like this. He wanted to _truly _drink of his lover, to let his fangs penetrate the perfect, pale skin and draw Takuma's essence in as if he were the very air that Senri needed to live.

He could. So easily, he could. Neither of them had taken that step yet. If he bit Takuma now... then the die would be cast. And he could bite him again, whenever he wanted to. Senri wanted to very badly. He wanted to bite Takuma and claim him, wanted to make sure that it was _him _that Takuma was feeling drawn to, _his _bite that Takuma remembered, not... not someone else's. Takuma's blood was already in his mouth, engaging every vampire instinct that Senri had and it was so tempting. So very, very tempting... but he resisted. Because he cared about Takuma far too much and didn't want to make him hurt or angry. If he bit his lover, then he was essentially denying Takuma the ability to ever do so to him. It would be incredibly selfish to just do it without even consulting him first. Takuma had had plenty of opportunities to do the same to him, and hadn't taken them. Right now, they were on equal footing. The instant one of them bit the other... Senri worried it would change things, one way or another, and change wasn't necessarily good. He liked things the way they were, and anyway, there was so much else they shared...

The cut closed all too quickly and after licking the flesh clean, Senri carved another a little further down. He cut a little deeper, a little swifter, a little less carefully, but not out of a lack of tenderness. Rather, he could feel from the tremble in Takuma's muscles and the intense hardening of his desire that his lover was ready for the added stimulation.

Takuma groaned breathlessly, his head falling back and his eyes closing as Senri's skillful lips coaxed and teased. He could not really feel his blood being drawn in the same way as if it was truly being drunk, but Senri's ministrations felt incredibly good and just the idea that his lover was tasting him and enjoying his blood made the young aristocrat so aroused that it felt like his head was spinning.

"Senri..." he moaned his lover's name as Senri upped the ante, now cutting multiple lines across Takuma's sensitive abdomen and taking turns sucking on all of them in turn, all the while working his way lower and lower towards where Takuma grew even more sensitive until each touch, each cut, each caress became unbearably delicious and over stimulating.

By the time Senri had worked his way down to where Takuma's fine, downy hair started, his lover was very, very ready and fairly whimpering with need. Senri was buzzing pleasantly from the blood. He knew what Takuma wanted and he gave it to him, lavishly.

"Ahhh..." Takuma's hips bucked as Senri swallowed him whole. The younger vampire started bobbing his head swiftly up and down and one of Takuma's hands slid quickly to his head, tangling in the dark, fly-away locks. Takuma wasn't sure if he was trying to slow Senri down because he couldn't take the intensity of the sensations, or if he was trying to urge him for more because he was going out of his head with bliss. In the end he pretty much did neither and simply hung onto Senri for grounding as intense shudders of pleasure started to run together into a constant, building stream that pooled in his gut before finally ripping free.

Senri drank up his lover's pleasure both figuratively and literally, bobbing his head more slowly now as Takuma's body relaxed and the blonde fell back on the bed, panting softly.

Senri sucked and licked Takuma clean with slow, luxuriant intentness before he finally straightened up. Takuma was beautiful with his face flushed, his hair tousled and his clothes hopelessly rumpled and askew, looking up at Senri with those eyes that could be so old and so young at the same time. Senri leaned up over Takuma's partially undressed body and kissed his slightly parted lips.

Takuma kissed back, tasting himself on his lover's lips and exploring the soft heat of his mouth contentedly. He let his head fall back down to the bed again when Senri finally straightened up. "That was nice..." he murmured with satisfaction.

Senri quirked a grin at him as he slid off the bed, kicking off his shoes and finally wriggling the rest of the way out of his jeans. He was going to need to shower before dressing again. "Only _nice_?" he inquired with mock indignation.

Takuma chuckled. "Okay, _amazing _then." He reached out and caught Senri's hand, their eyes locking. "_You're _amazing," he murmured softly, his eyes taking on that incredible, achingly gentle look that made Senri's entire insides turn to goo and his throat feel tight. The look that made him know he would never feel whole again if this man wasn't in his life.

_I'm not, Takuma. I don't know what kind of angel you think I am that you look at me like this... but I'm not. God, I wish I was. You deserve someone as perfect as you are... but I guess I'm selfish enough to hope you never find out that that's not me. _

Senri squeezed Takuma's hand tightly and then let it go. "I love you," he said quietly, before turning and heading towards the door that led to the bathroom. Maybe there was no real, definitive way to quantify if what he felt was or wasn't love, but Senri knew now that he _wanted_ it to be. With his whole heart he did, and if he wanted it so much, then maybe that meant it was already true? Anyway, he needed to say it, whatever the future held, for however long this lasted. He needed Takuma to know. His lover had been very patient with him and he deserved that.

Takuma blinked, a riot of surprised, confused and elated emotions running through him. For a moment, he wasn't sure that he'd heard right. Then he was sure he _had_ and joy filled him like a hundred dancing bubbles. Senri had never said that to him before. Senri had told him he wasn't sure he could feel that way, and Takuma had accepted that. Him saying such a thing was huge, but the way he'd said it kind of left Takuma in delighted shock. It was so sudden and unexpected and... and... Senri was just going to say it and then _walk away_?

"What? Wait!" Takuma scrambled off the bed, forgetting for the moment that his pants were still around his knees until he nearly tripped and fell on his face. Vampire reflexes saved him and he quickly tugged his pants up with an embarrassed flush, catching up with Senri before he reached the doorway. He laid a hand on his arm.

Takuma was grinning in bemused joy and confusion as Senri gave him a quizzical look, one eyebrow slightly raised in amusement, indicating that he had seen Takuma's ungainly exit from the bed.

"You can't just - just go off to the bathroom!" Takuma protested incredulously.

It was Senri's turn to blink. "Why not? I need to shower, I'm sticky," he said matter-of-factly.

"But... what you said, you can't just say something like that and then _leave_! I mean..." Takuma ran a hand through his hair, realizing he didn't know quite _what _he meant. "You said that... that you..." he was almost afraid to repeat it. Afraid that he'd somehow misheard or that Senri would change his mind.

Senri smiled warmly. "That I love you? Well, it's true. I do. I didn't think it would come as _that _much of a shock..." his grin widened slightly. Impishly.

Takuma beamed at the confirmation, and Senri felt he could have died happy at that moment, basking in the happiness on his lover's face. "Geez, Takuma... what did you think after all this time?"

In actuality, they hadn't been going out for _that _long, not by Takuma's standards anyway. By Senri's standards, however, they were practically engaged. He'd never been in a stable relationship that had lasted this long. Not a romantic one, anyway.

Takuma looked a bit sheepish, but he was still grinning like an idiot. "Well, you know... I didn't know if..."

"If I was only interested in screwing you?" Senri's eyebrows went up again in amusement.

Takuma flushed deeper, a worried look coming over his features at the thought that he might have accidentally implied such a thing about his lover. "No! That wasn't what I meant. It's just... you said you didn't feel that way," he murmured.

Senri hadn't meant to cause that reaction, he'd been teasing, but Takuma had taken him seriously. He cupped Takuma's face tenderly between his hands. "Takuma, it wasn't that I _didn't _feel that way," he murmured, his turn to be serious now and concerned that he may have inadvertently hurt his lover when he'd not intended to. "I just didn't want to risk hurting you by jumping the gun. I didn't want to say it until I was sure." He leaned in and kissed Takuma's lips softly. "And now I am. I love you."

Takuma's eyes radiated soft, intense joy as he lightly kissed Senri back. At the moment, his heart felt very, very full. "I love you too," he murmured back.

Senri smiled deeply. There wasn't a way to say how much that meant to him. "Cool. I'm going to take a shower now, is that okay?" he glanced to where Takuma was still holding onto his arm.

Takuma reluctantly let go, grinning back. "Yeah, I guess so," he retorted, teasing now as well. "_But_ you have to say you love me again first."

Senri rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Okay, okay! I love you, all right?"

Takuma laughed and gave Senri's backside, which was entirely too near, too tempting and too naked, a little smack with the flat of his palm. "Very all right."


End file.
